When I was teaching full time for a million years, I consciously built a rider’s confidence level by holding them back. If you have a rider walk their horse long enough, no mater how many fun exercises they do while walking, they will ultimately beg you to let them trot. Remember that you can always move forward with a rider’s confidence level, but trying to undo a fearful experience is all but impossible. Slow is better. Whether you knew this or not, many of the readers of the Hot club are well over 60 years of age. That means if you are 40 and your spouse isn’t YET into horses, you still have at least 20 or 30 years to get there. When you understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint race, it is easier to take your time, invest in some riding lessons for the two of you (while you may not think you need lessons, it will help to keep your spouse company and we can all continue to learn if we give it half a chance).

The other advantage of investing in a year of riding lessons for both of you is the bonus that comes from riding at a local stable, meeting other horsemen and getting involved in the social side of the barn. I am a big advocate in recommending that people invest in a year of riding lessons at a local stable and during that year, volunteer your time at the barn to muck stalls, clean tack, exercise horses, or whatever else you can do to help out. This is actually something I recommend people do for purely selfish reasons because the person who benefits the most is YOU. When I was a kid taking lessons, I volunteered at the barn and frankly, even though I was paying for one weekly lesson, I learned far more while volunteering than I ever could have learned in the lessons. The combination of a formal weekly lesson and many hours spent volunteering in the barn made for a perfect marriage in my learning curve.

So, your spouse is not into horses (yet). Here are some simple tips to help get them started:

1. Never put them in a position where they could be frightened or injured – slow is best.

2. Look for ways to introduce them to your own horse(s) in a non-threatening, fun way. (tic tacs or carrots over the fence, tack cleaning in the barn while watching the horses in the field, etc)

3. The holidays are just around the corner and buying them a package of beginner, semi-private lessons (for both of you to do together) is a safe way to get him a basic education (from someone other than you), it is also a great way for a couple to spend time together and the only trick is that YOU have to decide to NEVER look like a know-it-all before, during or after the lessons. This is their time to learn and the last thing they need is you rolling your eyes and pointing out inadvertently how little they know – by pointing out how much more you do know.

4. After you finish the package of semi-private lessons, if your spouse is still interested you could purchase a package of beginner adult group lessons for both of you and that would not only continue their education, but it adds the social element into the mix as you will be meeting other beginner adult riders in your classes.